Ask any of my clients, and they will tell you that we talk a lot about self care. They may even mention that I often use the allegory of the Jar of Candy, which goes a little something like this…
Imagine your self and your energy as a jar of your favorite candy. Every day, a little bit of candy is taken out of our jar. Our family, kids, jobs, pets, even stuff we enjoy doing takes a little bit out of our jar. All of this is to be expected. That’s life, you know? But the real question is, how do we refill our jar?
Refilling the jar is the most important part. I often find people want to “slow down” their lives in an effort to staunch the flow from that jar.
And that is great – I am certainly an advocate for breaking out of the Disease of Being Busy. But that really only delays the inevitable.
We all need to learn the skill of refilling our own jar. Self care. Taking care of yo’ self.
However, there is quite a bit of myth surrounding what self care is, and is not.
Sometimes, self care means treating yourself to something, or doing something nice for yourself. Like taking yourself out to dinner to get some alone time. Or buying yourself that special thing you have been eyeing for so long.
Other times, self care means doing the stuff we really don’t want to do. Maybe because it’s really uncomfortable, or pushes us outside of our bubble, or just generally sucks. Such as taking a good, hard look at your problems and your part in them, instead of running away or blaming them on others.
Sometimes it means disappointing people because you are choosing to put yourself and your needs first. Do you tend to be a people pleaser? Put others before yourself? Then this one is bound to tangle you up. Guess what? Disappointing others is not a good feeling…but sometimes in order to do the right thing for us, we have to disappoint other people’s expectations of us.
Self care can also mean being like Elsa and Let It Go. Stop doing things with the mindset of What Will People Think? What will YOU think?? Does it matter to you? Are you doing something because it is important to you, or because you are looking for validation from others? If not the former, then LET IT GO.
Lastly – and this is an important one – it sometimes means we stop trying to fix ourselves and finally put some effort into fixing the problem once and for all. With a professional. And not DIYing your health and wellbeing.
You are SO worth the effort.